Uncommon Legend

Sometimes, I feel like that one scene from Spongebob. All the file cabinets open, and everything is on fire. However, it feels like the norm.

Sometimes, my brain is on overload, and I wish I were like MJ or at least had more time on the clock. I have more things to do, but I need more people to do them with.  I feel as though I have been placed on this earth for a purpose, but I feel like I’ve been left to do it alone. The longer the nights, the shorter the days. There’s so much ahead of me, but too much behind me. I’m on autopilot, with an autopilot who chooses my destination without any confirmation.  My mind is rambling, but it’s also fully automatic with multiple automation, and I’m just trying to make it to graduation. 

Now that I’m back to normal allow me to be more formal. I began this whole journey with Uncommon Legend over three years ago, so young, spry, and full of energy. Now, I feel like there are always bags under my eyes and that I’m behind on something because what once was fun became a chore, which then became something I neglected. However, I miss it. 

I miss the newness of creating episodes daily and writing weekly, and I constantly beat myself up about it. I just pray for the willingness to show up, even when it hurts. I want to give my all to everything I do, with all the intensity and tenacity of day one. I miss recording and creating fun titles and graphics, but by God, I will do it again.

I will one day dance in my living room like it’s a Micheal Jackson video and take my wife on a date night on the town. But you know what? I will finish my graduate degree, I will meet my goal weight, and I will, by God’s grace, be the man my wife loves. I am the same kid from Clinton, Mississippi, who loves Saturday morning cartoons and anime, and I have been quiet for too long. I won’t be anymore, or at least I will recognize when I’m shrinking back.

I have been made too big to make myself smaller for others. In other words, you just read all my thoughts all at once, and I don’t care if it was 1 or 100 people, but know this: I, too, have hard days and seasons, but I won’t let them define me, and neither should you.