Uncommon Legend

Shifting gears with purpose!

When I first started this year, I was excited! I started a podcast, became more serious about CrossFit, started seminary, and even furthered my calling into ministry. I quickly learned that all new things are great, but no project is sustainable without proper motivation. As my candle for work continued to burn, my inspiration for life outside began to melt away. I started missing my 6 am workouts, geeing overwhelmed by profession, and even questioned if God was calling me deeper in my quest to minister to students. It all came to a boiling point around Monday night around 9 pm. I was sitting in my bed reflecting on the day, but I was pitying myself. I wondered, am I good enough? But then it hit me! Why am I letting off the gas when I should be shifting gears! 

I usually try to go to bed around 9:45 – 10 o’clock to feel refreshed the next day. But I found myself just doing that because I wanted to escape my feeling of failure. But this night was different! I wanted more, so that night, I went to bed later than usual, 11:30, to be exact! I felt like something internally had changed, and it did! I use a performance tracking device called Whoop, and every morning it tells me my recovery rate from my sleep from the night before. When I get less than 7 hours in bed, my recovery is between 33-66%, which is considered the “yellow zone,” but this day was different! I woke up with a 74% recovery, which is the “green zone”! The “green zone” meant my body was primed for performance and could be a push for an optimal strain! I know it may sound like a placebo, but I felt great! 

That day was a hard workout, but afterward, I felt l still had some left in the tank! I continued my day with my morning devotional and went to work like normal, but I didn’t feel normal. I felt empowered! I felt all my hard work and self-discipline were finally paying off! Every task that day felt, well, easy! Not like show-off-easy, but as in an I-can-do-this-easy! The week didn’t get more manageable for me. I just got better. I even caught up on some much-needed tasks and reading for the week. I capped it off with a day full of business Thursday that made me feel like I was capable of more than I had previously limited myself to. I constantly tell my students how their ceiling for capacity of work will soon become their floor. Now, I, too, could take that advice. 

I have never sat down to type out my thoughts like this, but I felt like it was a moment worth documenting. I am thankful for the stress that life has brought me; why? Because it requires me to ask the questions, we should at some point ask ourselves. What do I desire? Or better yet, what is my deepest longing? For me, it was chasing after the dreams that God has planted deep within me and making them a reality. Since I have shifted into a new gear on my journey, I hope to help others do the same. You don’t have to be Christian to read this, but I want you to explore that questions and answer for yourself. What are you longing for?